Tellin' Tales

Real-Life Encounter with Zombies

2009-05-04T15:28:00.002-04:00

My husband is obsessed with Zombie movies. The moment he sees and ad or hears about a new one coming out - he makes a point to see it sometimes dragging me, and my 11-yr-old stepdaughter and 11-year-old niece along - no matter how inappropriate. I think he is slowly turning them into ‘fans’ although they watch with ears and eyes covered.

He even collects books on Zombies and complains about the plots - explaining how the people could have barricaded themselves better, or how they should have used this or that for weapons. I’ve encouraged him to write his own Zombie stories and he says he plans to do so.

Meanwhile, while he is still working out his plots and escape plans I’ve decided to tell my own story - my real-life encounter with Zombies. One day on my way to work - I catch the train and the bus, I encountered several Zombies.

These Zombies were not much different from the ones I’ve experienced in the numerous movies I have been subjected to. They all stared straight ahead, not appearing to have any particular item in focus, some leaned and slumped over in their seats and others walked in a slow mechanical way, sluggishly as if they were being commanded by some unseen force against their will.

My first Zombie encounter was on the train. There were actually several of them. Some stood in the middle of the doorway, or blocking the aisle and apparently, just like in the movies, their brains were not functioning well.

I say this because when the train operator said to clear the doors to let other passengers board, or to move to the center of the train, they never made a single move. They continued to stare straight ahead. After squeezing around these creatures, who were a mix of male and female by the way, I managed to find an empty seat on the train.

I was happy and relieved to find a seat on the crowded train, but didn’t notice until I sat down, that I actually sat beside one. I was sitting next to a ‘live’ Zombie. This one was a male.

Apparently he had lost all function of his limbs, because he couldn’t keep his leg from sliding over to my seat. And although the train wasn’t moving fast at all, he couldn’t manage to keep himself from sliding of off his seat.

He made several attempts too, as he started to slide down he would push himself back up in an attempt to sit straight only to slide down again. I don’t think he could speak either, because each time his leg bumped into mine I would look up expecting an ‘excuse me,’ ‘my bad’ or something, but he never said a thing - just like some of the ones I’ve seen on film.

The other Zombies that stood closest to the doors - making it an obstacle for new passengers boarding to pass by also had lost or were losing their common sense skills. Clearly, it was printed on the sign that they were facing - no use of radios without headphones.

There was even a picture of a radio with the little lines coming from it representing music with an X over it. But, I guess either they could not read or they didn’t understand this meant cell phones as well, because several of them had their cell phones out with loud music coming from them.

It was particularly strange, because they were all playing different songs. None of them said a word, they just nodded their heads I guess in unison to the music on the phones that they held or the ones closest to them.

Again they stared ahead at nothing in particular, not even noticing the glares from other passengers signaling that they should turn the music off or at least down. I also noticed something else that these Zombies had in common.

Apparently they did not have sense enough to wear belts and/or pants that could fit them. As the train rolled on every once in awhile they would have to pause their head nodding to pull up their pants - even some of the female ones. I was happy when I reached my stop, between the loud garbled music and the abuse from the leg of the one who sat next to me, I couldn’t take it anymore.

As I walked toward the escalator to catch my bus, I ran into a few more of these Zombies. These were wearing uniforms - I guessed that they were heading to school. Some had backpacks, and others simply carried cell phones or MP3 players.

Maybe some had lost more brain function than others since they had forgotten their school supplies. As I reached the top of the escalator one of them decided to turn around in front of me and proceed to walk back down in the opposite direction that the stairs were moving - he had totally lost his mind.

I was actually surprised that he was able to accomplish this without falling - so maybe he hadn’t lost all brain function and he too had to pause every second or so to pull up his falling pants. When I reached the street platform, there were a couple of Zombies waiting at my bus stop.

One was actually talking! He was pacing back and forth, talking to no one in particular, about how the bus was late. Although he was talking, he kept repeating the same thing over and over as he paced, and paused to pull his pants up.

While others, including me, ignored him there was one lady who tried to give him some assistance. She asked him where he was trying to get to - not that she didn’t hear like the rest of us the "all I need is to get up the street" but I guess she was just trying to ease into conversation.

He did stop pacing for a minute, and repeated his need to get up the street. She told him that he could actually catch any bus, because they were all going in that direction. There was only one way out.

Of course, just like the others who didn’t really have all or no brain function, this Zombie again stared straight ahead, like he didn’t hear a word she said and went right back to his routine of pacing, fussing and pulling his pants up.

He continued to do this while three or four more buses going in his direction passed by. Finally, my bus had arrived. Again, I was relieved, just as those poor victims in those movies are when they find a closed-in shelter where there appears to be no Zombie in sight. But, just like those poor victims in the movies, my hopes were shattered - three of them boarded the bus with me.

One of them had the same brain trauma as those who blocked the doors of the train. He had his cell phone out, playing loud music. It was truly baffling that he would do such a thing.

This time the bus driver herself called to the back telling him to shut the phone off. Right then it was apparent that he hadn’t lost all brain function, because although he did not shut it off, he turned it down and so low that he had to put it to his ear to listen.

The next Zombie had again lost his brain function, because after he pulled up his pants to sit on the seats designated for senior citizens in the front of the bus (and the bus wasn’t crowded by the way) this one proceeded to pull a blunt out of his pocket and roll it! I guess he had lost so much brain function that he forgot he was on a bus and thought he was home behind closed doors somewhere.

The last Zombie, one who sat in a seat directly in front of me was a little different. He got a few stares and side eye glances when he first boarded the bus because he was wearing a very red lip tint. His pants were also low, but they were not falling because he was wearing a belt.

He was also listening to music, but had ear buds in his ears. I guess he hadn’t lost all brain function, although some may say he had because every once in a while he would sing/shout out a single lyric I guess from a song he was listening to - it was something by Beyonce - because he said aloud, "sing it ‘B’."

Also, every once in a while he would snap his fingers a couple of times. This wouldn’t have been too strange, except for the fact that he would raise his arm up high to do so, I think he must have thought he was at a club. His French manicured tips were on point, I must say.

As the bus moved on a few more of these Zombies boarded the bus. The man I was seated next to, who also works in the same building as I do, said teens today are so lethargic. Lethargic, I thought - state of lethargy, physical or mental inertness, listlessness, a deadening of the mind and senses... I guess he noticed the Zombies too.

Run-Ins With The Law

2009-02-23T11:12:00.010-05:00

Okay I decided to take a break from telling stories about my brother and I ( although the best ones involve him :o) - and tell a few about myself.

When I was growing up I had two interesting experiences with "the law". My first story actually involves a bunch of other kids, so it really isn't my sole experience. I think I was about 11 or 12-years-old when this took place. Me and some other neighborhood kids were outside 'bored' and someone came up with the idea to make slingshots (I don't remember what my brother was doing that day, but he wasn't with us and he wasn't really into 'crafts' anyway :o).

We went to the rental office - we would always go there for our supplies, drawing paper, paper clips, pencils etc... (don't ask why the people in the office would give us these things - maybe they just wanted us to hurry and leave them alone - who knows?). But we went to the office and asked for some hangers and rubber bands and they gave them to us. We took the hangers apart and bent them to break them and re-twisted to make out slingshot base then we tied on the rubber bands. We had to get some old material from one of the kid's houses - some jeans or something to make the little holder for our rocks.

We decided to go to the back of the apartment building, where there was a huge hill that faced the woods, to shoot our slingshots. As we stood on the hill shooting/slinging our rocks into the trees, of course, it turned into a competition. But because there were so many trees we could not really tell whose rock went the highest or farthest. So once again, someone came up with the idea for us to face the other way so we could sling our rocks over the apartment building. Of course, at that time, nothing sounded wrong with this idea, but as I now type this I realize all types of 'bad' things could have resulted :o(

So we began shooting/slinging our rocks high above the building noting the ones that landed on the roof or disappeared into the sky. Later that night, there was knock on our apartment door. My mother answered and it was the policeman who lived in our complex. He had several of the kids that I had been playing with earlier that day with him, and they did not look happy. He told my mother that some of the kids in the neighborhood thought it was a good idea to use slingshots to shoot rocks onto the roof of the building.

He proceeded to tell her that little did they know that these rocks did not just land on the roof of the building, but they flew over the building landing in the parking lot - of course, the lot was filled with cars. He even went on to say that as some people arrived home from work, they had to run to dodge rocks and some even thought it was hailing! Coincidentally, one of those falling rocks landed on and put a small scratch on his girlfriend's car window and he was collecting the names of all kids involved just in case the scratch turned into a crack.

After my mother listened to this story in horror, she shook her head from side to side in disbelief and automatically yelled over her shoulder for my brother to come to the door. Needless to say she was even more surprised to hear the police officer say, "No, ma'am, I am actually hear to get the name of your daughter." :o( I really didn't get in too much trouble for that and as far as I know the scratch never turned into a crack :o)

Earlier run-in with the law:

The very first incident I remember is when I was about 5 or 6-years-old. This story takes place in the grocery store. My mother and I went grocery shopping one day - by the way, I do not like grocery shopping at all I'd rather walk around a mall for hours and not pick up one thing than go to a grocery store :o( - Anyway, let me get back on topic. So we were in a grocery store shopping. I was following behind her while she was picking up things and putting them into the cart. As we walked around the store I noticed the Brach's candy display.

I knew not to ask for anything, but I really wanted some of that candy. It was a bulk candy display - the kind where you could bag your own individual pieces. There was sooo many types of colorful pieces and each one was calling my name. I just had to have one or maybe two pieces. Before I knew it, I looked up and my mother had moved on and was heading down the next grocery aisle. Hey, she didn't even notice that I was still standing there looking at that candy. Not once did she look back to see my hand reach up into that display, grabbing a handful of delicious pieces of candy. So after I had my stash hidden securely in my pocket, I hurried after her.

Once the shopping was done, and the groceries were packed nicely in the back seat with me. I began to eat my sweet treasures. I quietly, but quickly unwrapped a piece, tossed the evidence out of the window and popped it into my mouth. I did this routine for each piece of candy. As I was enjoying the sweet sugary goodness and bopping my head to the radio I was in a state of utter happiness, but all of a sudden my happiness turned to terror. That terror came in the form of a loud police car siren. I thought somehow the grocery store people knew I took their candy and they had called the police.

I swallowed what was my last piece of candy. My throat began to burn and my eyes began to fill with water as I thought about how mad my mother was going to be once she found out about the stolen candy, not to mention the fact that I was headed to jail. I don't remember my mother pulling the car over, I just remember the loud sound of my heart pounding, drowning out the sound of the radio and my mother mumbling (she was actually yelling) at the police officer saying something about trash coming from the car window. I vaguely remember her asking me if I was throwing paper out of the window as she started driving again - of course, I said no.

I'm sure she said some more words about the policeman pulling her over for 'nothing' - but I don't remember. All I do remember is that I was relieved that I did not get in trouble, and I never stole anything again! - At least I learned my lesson :o)

Hooray Inauguration Day

2009-01-20T23:38:00.021-05:00

Just a short post in celebration of Inauguration Day! I decided to stay home and flip through the various channels to watch, but I did go out to the Lincoln Memorial Concert on Sunday and attempted to get tickets for a concert on Monday - the huge crowds beat me to it, but still met some wonderful people in town for the weekend events.

Check out my pictures - some are a bit blurry, due to my excitement, taking pictures with my niece on my back and not to mention the cold :o)

Trying to get closer to the Lincoln Memorial

Super long lines heading towards the memorial

We settled for a spot under a monitor - we weren't too far away...

Taking pictures of the monitors :o)

Sheryl Crow

Will.i.am - It's a New Day :o)

Bono

Jaime Fox

Our New VP

People were up in the trees

Usher, Shakira and Stevie Wonder

Hooray - Obama! Of course the crowd went wild :o)

Beyonce, John Fogerty and others closing...

Despite the cold and the crowds the concert was a wonderful experience.

Introducing The Firestand Band

2009-01-12T13:41:00.015-05:00

When we were younger, my brother and I started several bands. I don't know if it was too many episodes of The Partridge Family, Donny & Marie Osmond, The Brady Bunch (remember those Sunshine Day episodes? - you can see them on YouTube - too funny :o) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaCCG7QkM_c) or my favorite The Jackson Five http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9h4qUsojyE - but starting bands was one of our pass times.

We only had one band with 'real' instruments though, we usually would use household items like pots and pans or my mother's Tupperware dishes (the Tupperware dish/pot band was our most popular because of this guy named Maxi who was on the drums - well, I mean pots - he would draw huge crowds, but best believe those crowds disappeared before my mother got home :o)

But the name of this particular band was Firestand Band. We named it so because 'Firestand' was the name on the drum set my brother received one Christmas. That Christmas I also got a set of maracas and a tambourine. We were so physced. Along with my brother and I we enlisted a neighbor to be in our band, he was one of the background singers and was in charge of putting on the record (yeah we played along with records most of the time) and the lighting - which consisted of him turning the bedroom light switch on and off really fast :o)

We had one original song entitled "Oh!" - too bad I don't have a recording - but "Oh" was actually the only lyric as well. It was a fast song that went something like "Oh - a few drum beats and tambourine/maraca shakes - Oh - more beats on the drum and tambourine/maraca shakes, then a longer Ohhhhhh." Then repeat until tired and/or out of breath. With the loud drumming and lights flashing, I tell you it was straight pandemonium!

Along with "Oh!" one of The Firestand Band's covers was Diana's Ross' "Love Hangover" ( check out this performance http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEIC423qO9k) Of course, I was Diana Ross. That one started off with the lights off until the end of the final slow "Overrrrr" then it was on! Lights began flashing (complements of our lighting man) I picked up my maraca/tambourine combo and my brother went wild on the drums. Again, straight pandemonium! Not to mention how we would occasionally put the record on a faster speed - we'd be on fire!

As we got a little older and bolder, during summer breaks we got more creative with our setup. We had costumes, show programs, and we incorporated more performances from other groups (neighborhood kids of course). My mother's fur coats, wigs and high-heeled boots were great for our Prince, DeBarge and The Time performances.

The living room was transformed to an auditorium, decorated with Christmas lights to separate the audience from the stage (yep - we had an audience and charged a 10 cent admission - only one person paid though and, of course, someone was posted outside just in case mom decided to come home early).

Ahhhh those were the days :o)

Houdini's Assistant

2009-01-07T15:46:00.016-05:00

One afternoon while minding my own business I was called downstairs by my brother. As I slowly walked down the stairs annoyed because I was interrupted from pretty much doing nothing aside from being left alone, he shouted, "Come on, I have something to show you."

He sounded really excited and went on to say he wanted to show me something in the basement. "What is it?" I replied. "Come on, I have to show you," he said ignoring the unamused sound of my voice. He proceeded to walk through the living room toward the basement stairs only glancing back to make sure that I was still following.

As I followed I wondered what he could possibly show me that was so exciting. I hoped it wasn't a new pet he had trapped in a shoe box or one of my mother's dishes (years before he had actually tried to capture a possum in one of her pots). When we reached the bottom of the stairs instead of turning to walk down the hall to his room he headed for the laundry room. He stood in front of the washer and dryer and said, "Watch this."

As he proceeded to climb into the dryer, contorting his - what I'm sure at that time was at least five-foot body to squeeze into the opening I asked, "What the heck are you doing?" "Just watch," he insisted. As I let out a deep breath and rolled my eyes toward the ceiling - still pretty much unamused he pulled his remaining leg in. "Okay, I'm leaving now," I said thinking that 'that' was the trick.

"No," he shouted. "Now close the door." "I am not going to close the door. Have you lost your mind?" asked turning to leave. "Come on just close it," he insisted. "Fine," I said and swung the door to the dryer closed. Just when I thought the trick was finally coming to an end I heard his now tunnel sounding voice yelling from inside of the dryer, "Now turn it on."

"Okay, you have really lost your mind. I am not turning it on," I yelled back to his voice. "Come on just really quick," he again insisted. I'm sure I must have thought something like, "Oh well, if he wants to do something stupid who am I to stand in his way?"

So I pressed the knob to turn the dryer on. Not two seconds after pressing the button I heard him screaming, "Turn it off! Turn it off!" I turned the dial to off, but the dryer did one last rotation. "Turn it off! Turn it off!" he yelled again. "I did. It is off!" I yelled back.

The next thing I knew, before the dryer came to a complete stop my brother kicked the dryer door open and quickly struggled to get out. "What happened?" I asked. "It was hot!" he responded. "Oh," was my reply and I turned to go back up the stairs.

Years later, I guess about ten or so, something reminded us of this incident and we retold it at a family gathering. What we thought would be an amusing story turned out to be a horrific tale to our audience and for some reason, I was the one who got fussed at.

"Why did you let him do that?" "What if he would have got burned and died?" - were among the questions I made out from the yelling. I couldn't understand why I was being yelled at - I guess I 'was' the oldest, but only by two years, and I guess he could have been burned, he was only wearing a pair of shorts - swimming trunks, I think, no shirt, shoes or socks, but that was his craziness not mine :o)

As we have retold the story over the years, one of the main questions people ask us is how old we were and they are awestruck when we say we were about fifteen and seventeen. Too bad Jackass wasn't around those days - we would have surely gotten a part on the show or movie. Too bad we did not have a video camera - we would have surely won on America's Funniest Videos not to mention YouTube - I'm sure we would have millions of hits. Maybe we could reenact it :o)

Happy New Year! - Short Update on things to come

2009-01-02T12:10:00.003-05:00

I really need to keep up with this blog :o)

During the Holiday's, families gather and people began to reminisce. My brother and I took a walk down memory lane and shared all sorts of stories about some of the crazy things we did when we were younger, bee catching, starting bands with my mother's brand new Tupperware, making up stories why things were broken in the house because company was not suppose to be over, and crazy Houdini antics like getting into the dryer (not me, of course :o). I plan to write about a few of those stories during the upcoming week to get me back into the flow of writing.

So stay tuned...

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday.
Peace and Blessings

Election Day!

2008-11-04T22:32:00.007-05:00

Here I am standing in a long line waiting to cast my vote :o)Okay actually - my line (2.5 hour wait) wasn't as long as this - but it was really worth the wait.

Check out my video

Family on the Train

2008-10-22T12:27:00.016-04:00

The Stern family waited on the platform for the train to arrive, bracing themselves against the blistery winds of the cold October day. As the lights flashed, indicating the approaching train, Cassie dug her clenched fists deeper into her pockets, and walked closer to the platform edge. She felt her mother's presence closing in behind and shot her a quick and cold look, warning her to keep her distance.

Debra Stern, noticed the look on her daughter's face and gripped the tourist map she held in her hand so hard that her knuckles were white, doing so in order to keep herself from whacking it across her only child's uncovered head. She couldn't understand why Cassie hadn't listened to her when she asked her to wear a hat. A hat would have kept some of the heat from escaping her frail body. She had to force herself not to look down again at her daughter's pajama pants, which she refused to change in hopes that they would result in her staying at the hotel.

Did she actually think she would fall for her excuse of having forgotten to pack pants when she gave her a specific list of exactly what to bring? Did she think that her mother would give in when she paraded out of her hotel room wearing the thin long-sleeved T-shirt and light blue pajama pants decorated with darker blue ribbons? Please. Her lack of nutrition and healthy diet must have went straight to her head. There was no way Debra was going to back down this time, the only way to keep an eye on her daughter was to have her with them at all times.

At least she had sense enough to listen to her father's pleas and threw on that old jacket she called a coat, Debra resolved. As the train doors opened, Dave Stern, who was intentionally concentrating on the train platform map, walked up beside his wife, placed his hand on her shoulder and guided her onto the train behind their daughter. Cassie chose a window seat and defiantly sprawled a leg across the empty seat beside her. Her parents took the seats immediately behind her.

Once her parents settled into their seats Cassie slid her leg, the one that had been covering the empty seat, to the floor. She couldn't believe that she was actually in Washington, DC, on a train with her parents. If it wasn't for that nosey school counselor Ms. Creedmoor, she would've been spending a quiet week alone, at home back in Seattle. Cassie let out a sigh, leaned her head on the back of the seat and closed her eyes. This was going to be a long week.

Dave, hearing the sigh from his daughter then another one from Debra, placed his arm around his wife's shoulders and gave her a little squeeze. "Relax, this is supposed to be fun," he whispered. Debra nodded and forced a smile. "What a spectacle we must be," Dave thought. As the train moved on he began to think about the past few weeks' events. The phone call from the school counselor about Cassie's fainting spell, and the Pro-Ana websites and other disturbing material they found on her computer played over and over in his head like a Lifetime movie.

The horrible fights at the dinner table, and threats of committing Cassie to a treatment center if she didn't start eating right all fell on deaf ears. Cassie looked thinner than ever. Despite all of her reassurances, there was no way he was going to leave her home alone for an entire week while they were hundreds of miles away. Dragging her on this trip was the only thing he could do. In fact, if they hadn't booked this trip months in advanced, he would have surely cancelled it and sought out professional treatment for his daughter, which is what he intended to do as soon as they got back home.

"The next stop is ours," Debra announced momentarily snapping both her daughter and husband out of their depressed states. As the train began to slow down, Dave gave his wife's shoulder another squeeze, slid his arm from around her and rose to his feet. "Maybe a visit to a few museums and site-seeing is just what this family needs," he thought as they all left the train.

-This is my first exercise from the book Fiction Writer's Workshop by Josip Novakovich http://www.amazon.com/Fiction-Writers-Workshop-Josip-Novakovich/dp/1884910394 The exercise was to write a scene of a story from a glimpse you had of a group of people - in a cafe, zoo, train etc. I had to sketch the characters in the setting and let them interact. The objective was to make much out of little.

The Big News

2008-10-01T14:39:00.018-04:00

May looked up at the clock which read 6:30. She let out a deep breath and continued setting the table. Jerrod, her husband would be home soon. She couldn't believe she had actually finished all of the dinner preparations in time and she was tired - physically and mentally exhausted.

After turning down the oven and putting the pots on simmer, she went into the bedroom to freshen up. Sitting at her vanity and examining the image that looked back at her - it seemed as though she was looking at a stranger and not at her own reflection.

"I am not going to cry again," May said aloud. As she dabbed on a little eye cream and gloss, she began to reflect on her day. Dr. Jones called her ten minutes after she had left work and asked if she could stop by the office. She remembered how excited she was as she made the U-turn and headed in that direction. May and Jerrod had been trying to have a child for almost a year and she was anxiously waiting to hear the confirmation from Dr. Jones.

Before stepping in the building she quickly dialed Jerrod's office to let him know that Dr. Jones had finally returned their call and that she was on the way in to hear the news. Apparently, he was in a meeting so she decided not to leave a message.

She figured that she would surprise him with the news, along with a big celebration dinner when he arrived from work. A single tear dropped from May's eye. "Nope, not again," she said as she quickly wiped it away and attempted a half-hearted smile.

Moments later she heard the garage door opening. Jerrod was home. It was time to announce the 'big news'. . .

Jerrod was about to open the door to the refrigerator to put the cream away when the date on the calendar caught his eye. It was one year ago that May had announced the 'big news' that had changed their lives forever. Not only were they going to have a baby, but the 'just-to-be-sure' biopsy result was positive - May had breast cancer.

The tugging on Jerrod's leg woke him from his reminiscing. "Ut oh!" came the sound from his 10-month-old baby girl. He looked down at the tiny replica of May and noticed that she was pointing to a small puddle of cream that he must have spilled as he was staring at the calendar.

"We better get this cleaned up," he said as he put the cream in the refrigerator and scooped Maya off the floor.

After cleaning up the mess he had made, he carried Maya into the living room and sat down. He asked, "Maya, how would you like to hear a story?" Maya hearing the word 'story' climbed down off the sofa and pulled a book from the stack on the living room table. As she handed the book to her father, he smiled and said, "No, this story is not in any one of your books, but it does have a happy ending. It's about a brave king and queen, and their little princess miracle. It's a story of survival."

Just then he heard the garage door opening - May was home.

National Breast Cancer Awareness Month
http://nbcam.org/
http://www.standup2cancer.org/
http://shop.thebreastcancersite.com/store/site.do?siteId=224

The New Hire

2008-09-22T16:20:00.000-04:00

Okay - I am going to cheat for my first blog entry and post a short story that I wrote in June.

As he pulled out his key card to let himself into the dark office Carl hesitated and thought to himself, why am I even going in here today. A few seconds later he found himself sitting at his desk in front of the blue glow of his computer. Mondays were always depressing, especially after what seemed to be a short weekend. Carl sat back in his chair and reminisced about his weekend. He could not believe he ran into Tracey, his old college buddy’s girlfriend.

Thinking about her put a smile on his face. She hadn’t changed a bit. Seeing her at the bar brought back memories of his college days, hanging out, drinking until the sun came up -- actually, Carl thought, as his smile widened, not much has changed since those days.Everyone on campus knew that Tracey and Daryl would end up married, they seemed to be inseparable. Who would have thought that right after graduation they would have broken up?

That stupid idiot, Carl thought, how could he let her get away? "Well, his loss, and maybe my gain," he said out loud to himself."Excuse me, sir?" came a voice from just inside his office doorway. Carl was awakened from his daydream, and swirled around in his chair toward the voice, "Good morning, Vivian. I didn’t know you were in yet," Carl responded. Vivian was Carl’s admin assistant, nosey, but a great worker and cute Carl thought."Yes, sir, I decided to come in early and start the paper work for the new hire coming in today," Vivian responded.

I bet, Carl thought, probably been in here looking through some employee files or something. "That’s great, I forgot all about that. Thanks, Vivian," he said trying not to sound too skeptical. "By the way, he added, could you please bring in her file, so I can look it over?" "I actually have it right here, sir," Vivian said. "I bet you do," Carl let slip out, but hoped she missed it. "Excuse me?" Vivian asked with a hint of an attitude."Well, Vivian, I’m not too surprised you have the file," Carl said as he paused to enjoy the look on Vivian’s face as her eyes began to narrow.

As if she don’t know how nosey she is, Carl thought to himself and began out loud, "I mean, you are always on top of things, Vivian, You’re so organized. I wish I had more employees like you," he ended. Vivian, completely caught off guard, stuttered as she handed Carl the file. "Thank – thank, you, sir. I try my best.""Well you have been doing a great job. Keep it up," Carl said as he took the file and swirled back around to his desk. He heard Vivian’s excited "thank you, sir" as the sound of her high heels clicked away from his office.

As Carl starred at the closed file labeled ‘Regina Jones’. He was pulled back into his reminiscing. Jones was Daryl’s last name.He remembered how he met Daryl. He was hanging tutoring flyers in the student union, and approached Carl and the other basketball players as they came walking by. Daryl handed him a flyer. Carl looked it over, and Daryl watched eagerly, looking up at them like a little kid surrounded by giants, although he was about six-feet himself.

In the end, Carl ended up taking the flyer back to the coach and they hired Daryl to help keep the other player’s GPAs up to standard.Daryl was the nerdiest person Carl had ever met, but he was super smart in every subject. Although nerdy, he was actually pretty cool and began hanging out with him and some of the other members of the team. This is where Tracey came it.

At first glance it appeared that she was just one of the typical basketball groupies that hung around after the games, but later everyone found out that she was also being tutored by Daryl. Tutored and apparently much more, Carl thought.The weekend had proved to be pretty routine, up until he ran into Tracey. She was ordering a drink at the bar when she noticed Carl.

"Weren’t you the captain of the basketball team at UM?" she asked. "Yep," Carl responded as he quickly glanced toward the exit to make sure Tiffany, his soon-to-be ex had left. "I guess you might not remember me," she continued."You do look familiar," Carl responded sounding more relaxed now that the coast was clear. "I’m Tracey, I used to date Daryl the tutor," Tracey said excitedly. "Oh yeah," Carl responded, trying to hide how excited he actually was. As they were about to take a walk down memory lane, that crazy Leon had to open his mouth.

"Man, you work fast," he shouted at Carl, and smiled at Tracey, practically drooling. Carl mentally noted never to go out with him again, especially since he left him with the bill.Carl walked Tracey over to the table where she was sitting with her friends, who looked like the cast of ‘Dreamgirls’ Tracey being the Jennifer Hudson character, and he pulled up a seat. Tracey told him that she and Daryl broke up after graduation for some reason, that she didn’t want to get into. He told her about the PR company he started after playing for the Wizards, and they exchanged numbers.

"Excuse me, Mr. Simpson, I tried paging you but I think your mute button is on. Ms. Jones called and said she was stuck in traffic. She will be about 30 minutes late," Vivian said all at once, once again interrupting his thoughts. "Okay, not a problem," Carl responded as he checked his mute button, which was indeed on. "Also, your --," Vivian paused as she was being choked by the words. "Your fiancée is on line one," she completed as she rolled her eyes up to the ceiling.

"Vivian, I told you that you don’t have to call her that," Carl said. "I meant Ms. Tiffany is on line one," she said. "That’s better. Thanks, Vivian," Carl responded. As Vivian left he took a deep breath, let it out slowly and picked up the phone. "Good morning, Tiff --," before he could finish Tiffany screeched, "That girl has an attitude, I think she needs to be fired!"

"Tiffany, I told you a thousand times, she is the best assistant I’ve had. You already managed to run off the other two. Now you want to get rid of this one," Carl responded."Whatever, Carl, and I didn’t run off the other two. I told you they were no good in the first place," she added. Carl took another deep breath. He was seriously getting tired of Tiffany. Her jealous tirades, binge drinking, and thinking he was Bank Simpson, was getting on his last nerve.

"Tiffany, I have to get ready for this orientation so I’m going to have to call you back later," Carl said trying to get her off the phone. "Orientation?" Tiffany questioned. "I told you that I was looking for an accountant, so we don’t have to keep using an outside firm," Carl said sounding exhausted."I’m sure this ‘accountant’ is probably a woman too," Tiffany said with an attitude. "Tiffany you know I have a female quota to meet to qualify for the upcoming grant we’re going after.

We’ve been over this," Carl responded trying to sound calm. "Actually I don’t remember you saying that you were going to hire more females because of some grant," Tiffany said. "Look, Tiffany, I really have to go, and if you just called here to argue with me, I’m sure we can do this later," Carl responded not hiding his irritation."I’m sorry, it’s this hangover, combined with that Vivian who just pushes my buttons.

I didn’t mean to take it out on you, Vivian responded sounding nice and sweet. Carl knew from the ‘I’m sorry’ and her new tone that she wanted something. "I actually called to let you know that I picked out a spot for my dinner party," Vivian said as her voice trailed off. "How much is this ‘spot’ going to cost me?" Carl asked. "Oh not much, but it’s really nice, and I was just thinking about asking just a few of our friends to come out this time, not everybody and their mother," Tiffany responded.

Carl didn’t understand why he kept going through this. Again, for the fifth year in a row he had agreed to pay for another one of Tiffany’s birthday parties. Last year, she said it was just going to be a few friends and it turned out to be over 50 people, half of which, neither she nor he knew. "This time, Tiffany continued, I’m sending out invitations, and asking everyone to pay for their own dinner." "That was the plan last time, and you see how well that worked out," Carl said as he leaned back in his chair already feeling a headache coming on.

"Don’t worry Carl, it’s going to be different this time -- maybe just about ten couples including us. I would also like to get a suite so we could all meet up for drinks and change before dinner," Tiffany added. "A suite?" Carl asked. "What do you need a --." "Mr. Simpson, sorry for the interruption, but Ms. Jones has arrived, and she is waiting in the lobby," came Vivian’s voice over the intercom. "Who is that?" Tiffany asked. "That’s Vivian. My appoint --."Before he got the chance to finish Tiffany interrupted, "I am getting tired of her, with her nosey self. She is always walking in your office."

"Actually, that was her on the intercom, my appointment is here. I have to go," Carl said trying not to sound too relieved. "Well, I’ll talk to you later," Tiffany responded sounding agitated as always.Carl hung up the receiver, stood up from his chair and stretched. He smoothed out his pants, buttoned up his suit jacket, grabbed the file off of his desk, and headed out to the lobby. As he approached the lobby he saw Ms. Regina Jones rise to her feet. Ms. Jones, with her brown smooth skin, past the shoulder length hair, statuesque six feet tall model-aerobic looking physique, did not look like any accountant he had ever seen.

"Hello, Ms. Jones," Carl said with a big smile, not hiding his enjoyment, with his arm outstretched.Carl could feel Vivian’s eyes burning a hole in his back, and noticed she stopped her rhythmic typing to listen-in. "Nice to finally meet you in person," Regina Jones responded as she reached for Carl’s hand and shook it. "Likewise," responded Carl. "We can talk in the conference room," he added. As Carl led the way toward the conference room, he looked over his shoulder at Vivian, who’s eyes were focused in his direction, "Vivian," he started.

"Yes, Mr. Simpson, hold all your calls," she said with a slight grin.Vivian watched as Carl opened the door to the glass windowed conference room and then pull out a chair for Ms. Jones. This Monday was going to be an interesting one for sure she thought. "I can’t wait for that gold-diggin’ Tiffany to call back," she said out loud but to herself. Just as she began to imagine how Tiffany would react when she couldn’t talk to her so-called "fiancé" she was startled by the beep of the intercom on her desk.

"Vivian is Carl in?" came the husky voice. "Yes, ma’am, but he is in the conference room with the new hire," Vivian responded dutifully. The hairs on Vivian’s neck stuck straight up. If there was one person should could not stand even more than that gold-diggin’ Tiffany it was Jill. Jill acted as if ‘she’ was the president of the company. The only reason she worked for Mr. Simpson, is because her brother John Martin, who played ball with Carl, was one of the investors.

"Let me know when he gets out," barked Jill. "Yes, Ms. Martin," Vivian answered politely, but with a frown on her face. That woman is scary, thought Vivian as she tried to shake Jill Martin’s image out of her head.Jill Martin was the so-called ‘Contract Manager’ for all client accounts. As far as Vivian was concerned that meant she just got to eat lunch or dinner with the clients once every six months or so using the company credit card just to watch them sign and renew their contracts.

Vivian thought this was a total waste, because almost 400 pound Jill did not need another meal and the contracts could be renewed by computer.Jill also ‘thought’ that Vivian was her assistant and this annoyed Vivian to no end. When Jill did come to the office, she claimed she worked from home most of the time, all she did was boss Vivian around, yell and scream at her computer, bang up stuff in her office, and three hours later she was gone. "Only two more hours to go," sighed Vivian counting down the hours until Jill was due to leave.

Vivian wondered what was going on in the conference room between Ms. Jones and Mr. Simpson. One minute they were huddled up over documents, the next they were both laughing with they’re heads back and mouths open. Tiffany is not going to like this at all, Vivian thought as she continued to stare into the conference room with a smile on her face.Two hours later, she saw Mr. Simpson and Ms. Jones standing and shaking hands.

Mr. Simpson held open the conference room door and Ms. Jones walked through. "Vivian, Ms. Jones will be starting tomorrow, could you please make sure that her info is put into the system by the end of the day?" Carl asked. "Yes, sir, not a problem," Vivian smiled as she gladly took the file from Carl’s extended hand."Ms. Jones, I know you’ve talked to Vivian over the phone and met her this morning, but I just want to formerly introduce you to the best admin assistant I’ve ever had," Carl said smiling gesturing towards Vivian.

Vivian, now standing and smiling, shook Ms. Jones hand. "He is too kind," she said. "I guess you’re ready for that tour I promised you," she added talking to Ms. Jones."After your tour, why don’t you two grab some lunch on me, " Carl said as pulled out his wallet and handed Vivian the company credit card. "Well, I’m sure I have a ton of messages waiting for me, so I’d better get to work. You ladies enjoy your lunch, and I’ll talk with you later, Ms. Jones," Carl said as he headed back towards his office. He could not wait until Vivian got back so he could hear about the details of their lunch and any other information Vivian managed to pry out of her.

As he sat back in his office chair, Carl could not believe his luck. He seemed so comfortable with Ms. Jones – Regina, as she said to call her. He knew this was going to be the start of a wonderful working relationship. Lucky for him Regina would be primarily working from home and dealing with outside clients, so he did not have to worry about Tiffany being on his case. If Tiffany got a glimpse of her, he would not hear the end of it, for sure.

Carl was amazed that he and Regina had so much in common. Although she did not play ball herself, she had a cousin who tutored a basketball team and that cousin was indeed Daryl Jones. She even vaguely remembered Tracey, although that seemed like a touchy subject. He guessed that their break-up must have been a bad one, since neither Tracey nor the cousin of her ex wanted to talk about the subject. He didn’t even bring up the fact that he ran into Tracey the other night. What a coincidence, he thought. Just as he thought this his phone began to ring.

"Back to work," he said out loud before he picked it up.An hour later, as Vivian settle back down at her desk, she could not believe her luck. She had eaten a free lunch, got some interesting insight on the new hire, Ms. Regina Jones, and the best part of all she made it back after Jill Martin had gone for the day. Hopefully, she will be out the rest of the week, Vivian thought. Vivian enjoyed her lunch with Ms. Regina Jones.

Strangely enough though, and unlike previous new hires, she did not ask a lot of questions about Mr. Simpson. but of course Vivian freely volunteered the information.She definitely did not spare any little detail about Tiffany, and on that subject she didn’t even have to exaggerate. But Ms. Jones didn’t even flinch during the jealous girlfriend/delusional fiancée stories. She acted as if she was not really interested. She didn’t even pry for details, although Vivian freely gave them of course. There was something odd about her though, but Vivian just couldn’t put her finger on it. As she thought about this, she decided to take the card back to Mr. Simpson.

Carl heard Vivian’s shoes before he saw her, and he was glad for the interruption. He had been listening to Tiffany’s tirade about her upcoming party plans for the last 20 minutes and couldn’t take it much further. "I’m going to have to call you back, but that all sounds good so far," he said. Tiffany so elated with her plans, didn’t realize she was being rushed off the phone, "Okay, later," she responded, and the call ended.Carl gestured as if he was wiping sweat from his forehead.

He reached for the card. "So, how was your lunch," he asked. "It was great," said Vivian as she handed him the card and turned to leave. "Hey, you’re not going to get off that easy," he said stopping Vivian in her tracks. Twenty minutes later, Vivian was back at her desk putting Ms. Regina Jones’ information into the computer. She had told Carl all that went on during her lunch with Ms. Jones, of course leaving out the parts about Tiffany.

Carl was always amazed at Vivian’s skill. She could squeeze out information from a blank sheet of paper. She managed to find out more than Carl had in two hours, over a little more than thirty minute lunch. Apparently, Regina was not a really close cousin of Daryl’s and that was probably the reason why he never mentioned her. She also took most of her classes online which explained why Carl didn’t remember seeing her around campus. Just like Vivian, Carl also sensed that there was something a little odd about Regina, but he just passed it off as nervousness.

Carl decided to call his partner John Martin to let him know that he hired the accountant he recommended. He clicked the speaker phone button and dialed John’s number. As the phone rang, he promptly turned the speaker volume down. John had a tendency to yell into the phone and off for that matter, and he did not need the entire office to hear their conversation."Hey, man!" John screamed. "What’s up, J," responded Carl in a lower tone hoping John would follow his lead.

"So, how did your appointment go?" John asked. "How did you know about my appointment?" asked Carl. "I talked to Jill earlier, and she said you had an appointment with a new hire," John said. "Oh, I didn’t even see Jill today," Carl started. "Anyway, all is well, we have our very own accountant," he ended excitedly. "Well, I’m glad it worked out, we need our own accountant," John responded just as excited. "Did you know that she went to school with us?" Carl asked."Yes, when I got the call from another accounting buddy of mine with the recommendation, he told me that, but I did not put two and two together until later.

You are apparently quicker than me on these things," John said laughing. "But it’s cool that you are cool with it, I didn’t think you would be," John added. "What do you mean put two and two together?" Carl asked. Of course, I’m cool with it, you know I don’t mind hiring old college buddies," he added."Well maybe you are not as quick as I thought you were," John said laughing even harder and louder. "What are you laughing about?" Carl asked as he quickly reached to turn the volume of the speaker phone down even lower.

"You really don’t know who Regina is?" laughed John. "J quit trippin’ who is Regina?" Carl asked. John now laughing uncontrollably managed to calm himself down enough to shout, "Daryl, Regina is Daryl!""What!" Carl found himself shouting. "Are you trying to tell me that Regina is a man?" he yelled. John, still laughing, practically choking, let’s just say she ‘was’ a man -- the former Daryl Jones himself. Or, should I say herself," shouted John as his laugh echoed throughout the office.

Carl leaned back in his chair with a shocked looked on his face, just as he did this, he glimpsed Vivian standing in the doorway. She was smiling and shaking her head. "Any woman wearing a hot scarf tied around her neck in the dead heat of summer is trying to hide something," she said as she shook her head and walked back to her desk.

THE END
Copyright © 2008

Tellin' Tales Intro

2008-09-22T16:19:00.001-04:00

Tellin' Tales is my creative writing blog. Posts will include anything that flows from my imagination. The idea is to keep myself writing. Hopefully I will get a huge audience so we all can write together :o)

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