Real-Life Encounter with Zombies

My husband is obsessed with Zombie movies. The moment he sees and ad or hears about a new one coming out - he makes a point to see it sometimes dragging me, and my 11-yr-old stepdaughter and 11-year-old niece along - no matter how inappropriate. I think he is slowly turning them into ‘fans’ although they watch with ears and eyes covered.

He even collects books on Zombies and complains about the plots - explaining how the people could have barricaded themselves better, or how they should have used this or that for weapons. I’ve encouraged him to write his own Zombie stories and he says he plans to do so.

Meanwhile, while he is still working out his plots and escape plans I’ve decided to tell my own story - my real-life encounter with Zombies. One day on my way to work - I catch the train and the bus, I encountered several Zombies.

These Zombies were not much different from the ones I’ve experienced in the numerous movies I have been subjected to. They all stared straight ahead, not appearing to have any particular item in focus, some leaned and slumped over in their seats and others walked in a slow mechanical way, sluggishly as if they were being commanded by some unseen force against their will.

My first Zombie encounter was on the train. There were actually several of them. Some stood in the middle of the doorway, or blocking the aisle and apparently, just like in the movies, their brains were not functioning well.

I say this because when the train operator said to clear the doors to let other passengers board, or to move to the center of the train, they never made a single move. They continued to stare straight ahead. After squeezing around these creatures, who were a mix of male and female by the way, I managed to find an empty seat on the train.

I was happy and relieved to find a seat on the crowded train, but didn’t notice until I sat down, that I actually sat beside one. I was sitting next to a ‘live’ Zombie. This one was a male.

Apparently he had lost all function of his limbs, because he couldn’t keep his leg from sliding over to my seat. And although the train wasn’t moving fast at all, he couldn’t manage to keep himself from sliding of off his seat.

He made several attempts too, as he started to slide down he would push himself back up in an attempt to sit straight only to slide down again. I don’t think he could speak either, because each time his leg bumped into mine I would look up expecting an ‘excuse me,’ ‘my bad’ or something, but he never said a thing - just like some of the ones I’ve seen on film.

The other Zombies that stood closest to the doors - making it an obstacle for new passengers boarding to pass by also had lost or were losing their common sense skills. Clearly, it was printed on the sign that they were facing - no use of radios without headphones.

There was even a picture of a radio with the little lines coming from it representing music with an X over it. But, I guess either they could not read or they didn’t understand this meant cell phones as well, because several of them had their cell phones out with loud music coming from them.

It was particularly strange, because they were all playing different songs. None of them said a word, they just nodded their heads I guess in unison to the music on the phones that they held or the ones closest to them.

Again they stared ahead at nothing in particular, not even noticing the glares from other passengers signaling that they should turn the music off or at least down. I also noticed something else that these Zombies had in common.

Apparently they did not have sense enough to wear belts and/or pants that could fit them. As the train rolled on every once in awhile they would have to pause their head nodding to pull up their pants - even some of the female ones. I was happy when I reached my stop, between the loud garbled music and the abuse from the leg of the one who sat next to me, I couldn’t take it anymore.

As I walked toward the escalator to catch my bus, I ran into a few more of these Zombies. These were wearing uniforms - I guessed that they were heading to school. Some had backpacks, and others simply carried cell phones or MP3 players.

Maybe some had lost more brain function than others since they had forgotten their school supplies. As I reached the top of the escalator one of them decided to turn around in front of me and proceed to walk back down in the opposite direction that the stairs were moving - he had totally lost his mind.

I was actually surprised that he was able to accomplish this without falling - so maybe he hadn’t lost all brain function and he too had to pause every second or so to pull up his falling pants. When I reached the street platform, there were a couple of Zombies waiting at my bus stop.

One was actually talking! He was pacing back and forth, talking to no one in particular, about how the bus was late. Although he was talking, he kept repeating the same thing over and over as he paced, and paused to pull his pants up.

While others, including me, ignored him there was one lady who tried to give him some assistance. She asked him where he was trying to get to - not that she didn’t hear like the rest of us the "all I need is to get up the street" but I guess she was just trying to ease into conversation.

He did stop pacing for a minute, and repeated his need to get up the street. She told him that he could actually catch any bus, because they were all going in that direction. There was only one way out.

Of course, just like the others who didn’t really have all or no brain function, this Zombie again stared straight ahead, like he didn’t hear a word she said and went right back to his routine of pacing, fussing and pulling his pants up.

He continued to do this while three or four more buses going in his direction passed by. Finally, my bus had arrived. Again, I was relieved, just as those poor victims in those movies are when they find a closed-in shelter where there appears to be no Zombie in sight. But, just like those poor victims in the movies, my hopes were shattered - three of them boarded the bus with me.

One of them had the same brain trauma as those who blocked the doors of the train. He had his cell phone out, playing loud music. It was truly baffling that he would do such a thing.

This time the bus driver herself called to the back telling him to shut the phone off. Right then it was apparent that he hadn’t lost all brain function, because although he did not shut it off, he turned it down and so low that he had to put it to his ear to listen.

The next Zombie had again lost his brain function, because after he pulled up his pants to sit on the seats designated for senior citizens in the front of the bus (and the bus wasn’t crowded by the way) this one proceeded to pull a blunt out of his pocket and roll it! I guess he had lost so much brain function that he forgot he was on a bus and thought he was home behind closed doors somewhere.

The last Zombie, one who sat in a seat directly in front of me was a little different. He got a few stares and side eye glances when he first boarded the bus because he was wearing a very red lip tint. His pants were also low, but they were not falling because he was wearing a belt.

He was also listening to music, but had ear buds in his ears. I guess he hadn’t lost all brain function, although some may say he had because every once in a while he would sing/shout out a single lyric I guess from a song he was listening to - it was something by Beyonce - because he said aloud, "sing it ‘B’."

Also, every once in a while he would snap his fingers a couple of times. This wouldn’t have been too strange, except for the fact that he would raise his arm up high to do so, I think he must have thought he was at a club. His French manicured tips were on point, I must say.

As the bus moved on a few more of these Zombies boarded the bus. The man I was seated next to, who also works in the same building as I do, said teens today are so lethargic. Lethargic, I thought - state of lethargy, physical or mental inertness, listlessness, a deadening of the mind and senses... I guess he noticed the Zombies too.